Left High and Dry, Mostly

Sometimes you just roll the dice, and you get what you get. We planned a close-to-home Valentines getaway, a night at a fancy place in Richmond and dinner on the town. I made reservations at The Berkeley Hotel, a small buth elegant place, fronting onto Richmond's cobblestoned and gaslit Shockoe Slip. www.berkeleyhotel.com The funny thing about hotels in your hometown is that only business travelers from other cities ever really see them, so I didn't have anyone to ask for details.

The Executive Parlor Room certainly sounded nice. What pictures the website offered made it look nice. And in the end, I am more than prepared to conced, it was nice, large, beautifully decorated, with an enormous, pillow-topped cloud of a bed. No false advertising. (My wife nevertheless strongly advises requesting a room that faces away from Shockoe Slip, since it's a busy nightspot, with revelers and at least one powerfully-voiced street-preacher discussing the fine points of drinking and damnation until the wee hours.)

The Berkeley's site, though, presents an all-too-common problem for the tub-oriented among us: scant details about and no images of the bathing possibilities. In our room (507), at least, the bathroom was enormous. At 9 feet wide by 15 feet deep, I've literally had rooms in mid-town Manhattan that were smaller. But that precious real estate mostly empty, just a ballroom's worth of marble floors, with a plain, old contractor-special tub in the far back corner. At the very least, they could put in a twin-sized, glass-walled steam shower in the unoccupied 4 by 5 space that serves currently only to allow the bathroom door to swing 180 degrees open.

The Berkeley holds, and in many ways deserves, a AAA four-diamond ranking. I am convinced, however, that fine hotels like this need to continually step up the competition, to hone and improve their offerings, in order to remain at the top. Invest in spa-style upgrades, highlight them on the website, and watch the laggards fall behind.

Remember, hotliers: There are no patrons more loyal than the soaking crowd.

Deluxe Dipping in New York

A trusted confederate, fingers and toes still wrinkly from a long "business" trip to Manhattan professes allegiance to The Mercer Hotel, at 147 Mercer Street in SoHo. www.mercerhotel.com Most of the loft-style rooms--very New York--have tubs built for two. I also like hotels that offer floorplan schematics of their rooms. A big, deep bath is great, but where it sits can be a make-or-break point. Just look at the precious real estate devoted to the tub in the Mercer's Loft Studio rooms. Awesome. And the regular old Studio rooms have couple-ready soakers that are open to the bedroom, just behind some shutter doors. Awesomer.

Did I mention that this place commands King's Ransom prices? Sorry, you'll have to bleed the wallet.

Ritual Bathing in the Old Dominion

There doesn't appear to be any dark mystery surrounding The Freemason Inn Bed & Breakfast in Norfolk, Virginia--although it may betray my conspiracy-theorist leanings to wonder why that striking name isn't explained at their site. www.freemasoninn.com What you will discover, though, are nice, big, modern Jacuzzi tubs nestled into tasteful Federal period surroundings. Well, three of the four rooms are power-wash capable; the fourth has a plain, old clawfoot, though it looks nice and deep.

The Freemason's Policies page warns "Red wine not allowed in guest rooms." Is that a masonic prohibition? Or just a stain-removal issue? No danger of worrisome spillage if you promise to drink only in the tub. Swear?

Big Apple Bobbing

New York is tough territory for tub lovers. Space is at a premium in Manhattan, and room-dominating English soaking tubs present a challenge that many hoteliers just aren't up to. Still, we've found some modest treats.

The Blakely New York, formerly the Gorham Hotel (and formerly before that probably a long string of names) is a compact little place on 55th, between 6th and 7th Avenues. www.blakelynewyork.com The City Center is just across the street (www.nycitycenter.org), MOMA is around the corner (www.moma.org) and Central Park is two blocks north. There are 76 rooms of which 42 are suites, and the atmosphere is "small European," in a dark wood and Persian carpet way. A lot of design attention was focused on the baths. They, too, are small, but sheathed entirely in a very rich, dark brown marble that's quite inviting. It's definitely one-at-a-time tubbing, but it's easy to let that time stretch out. It helps that once you rise out of the water, a super-fluffy "Frette" robe await you-- www.frette.com --as does a lofty down comforter on the bed. You could walk a few blocks south to see a Broadway show, but . . .

More on NYC to come.

Find Your Dream Tub

We're focusing here on great places to stay with great baths, spas, cascading showers, etc. But sometimes we dream soaking dreams about our home. Bellazura International crafts several sugarplums that dance in our head. www.bellazura.com/atlantis.html Just take a look at the AT 502 model. An egg? A cocoon? Ah, someday, someday.

The Tub That Got Away

Sometimes its the bath you can't remember. My wife and I spent the first night of our honeymoon, 20 years ago, in one of the Colonial Houses in Williamsburg (see the post below). The Orlando Jones Kitchen is a gem, a small, two-story "summer kitchen," set in the garden behind, surprise, the Orlando Jones House (which is also a nice place to stay). The Kitchen has a sitting room with fireplace downstairs and a bedroom and bath above. Unfortunately, my new bride wrenched her back the day before the wedding. She was in tremendous pain and on serious drugs. Picture a bride, beautiful and beaming, being swept across the threshold by her adoring husband. Now replace that with a bride, eyes slightly glazed, being fireman-carried up the steep staircase and hoisted up onto what would otherwise have been a charmingly tall four-poster queen bed. I know there was a bathroom--must have been--but I'll be darned if I can recall it. If anyone out there has stayed in the Kitchen and can fill in this blank spot in my memory, sing out, please.

Let It Rain

While bobbing in bubbles is always great, we're not immune to the charms of an impressive shower. And they can be found in surprising places. You might be surprised, given the whole 18th Century vibe, the Colonial Williamsburg spurns historical accuracy when it comes to personal hygiene. Pleasant bathing opportunities abound if you stay--and you really should at least once in your life--in one of the more than two dozen "Colonial Houses" in the historic area. http://www.colonialwilliamsburg.com/visit/stayWithUs/colonialHouses The Ewing House has a very nice first floor suite, with a sitting room with a fireplace (the staff will start a fire for you and stock you up with firewood) on one side of the entry hall and a bedroom with queen-sized four-poster on the other. All quite beautiful and definitely Colonial-y. The bathroom, though, has a modern surprise in store. No tub at all, but a gigantic shower. You may see places advertising "oversized showers" and "showers for two," but this thing is a shower for a loving couple and four of their closest friends. Plus firehose water pressure and endless hot water. Live it up, 21st Century-style.